Author Archives: Andrew McGowan, MFT

On Paying Attention

This is an art form for all relationships, and is especially important for children. To my mind it means having moments, minutes, even hours (if possible) where you tune in and share in the uniqueness of your child. Paying attention helps you see the little forward steps they make in their learning and development. Paying attention helps you notice what is behind the behaviors, which in turn allows you to respond appropriately. And the more you notice and enjoy the positives in your child, the less motive your child will have to misbehave and act out.

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Services for Families in Grief

I went to a presentation by Hospice of Santa Barbara today. Their building is located on Alameda Padre Serra Road. An architect designed the inside of their offices to reflect a sense of peace, tranquility and spirituality. The design really creates a feeling of warmth; I was most taken by a circular room that was built into the middle of the office space. They described this circular room as their “sacred” place. In the room is a circular bench that wraps around the inside of the walls and feels like an intimate place to talk as a group. There is also a small table where messages can be written and rolled up and placed in nooks on a board. We were told that when the board fills up the messages are burned (perhaps to enter the realm of non-being). The most moving part of the tour was seeing the altar located in the open space of the offices. There were messages from children to their lost parents expressing love and sadness.

Hospice focuses on providing support for those who are grieving. They provide individual and group therapy, as well as a variety of other services (all free of charge for the consumer).  They have numerous programs for children and families; parents can attend grief groups at the same time that their children attend groups for kids. I encourage you to learn more about this organization.

www.hospiceofsantabarbara.org

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