If you are a parent you have probably struggled at some point with a child that does’t want to eat. It is an incredibly frustrating experience that prompts a lot of questions. Will my child grow properly? Why is this happening to my child? And what can I do about it?

Children are fussy eaters for a variety of reasons. A certain amount of this fussiness is normal toddler behavior. One day they may eat a lot, another day they may just poke and prod at their food and eat very little. If your child’s picky eating seems extreme you may want to consult with your pediatrician to rule out any medical issues. Ask yourself if there is any additional stress in the home that may be contributing to the problem. Also consider your own nutrition and approach to food. Are you doing all that you can to cook, prepare and eat nutritious meals with the whole family?

When kids resist eating, it is easy for power struggles to ensue. I recommend treading lightly and trying to avoid these battles around food. If your child doesn’t want to eat, there is no good way to force the issue. You can try, but things may get much worse. Making progress is more a matter of using persuasion, coaxing, finding non-coercive strategies and modeling how to eat well.

To reduce the tension, I try to have a nonchalant approach to food with kids. I go out of my way to avoid struggles and battles. In fact I want them to feel that they are in control of how much they eat and what they choose, which is empowering . An important goal is to have children eat what is being served at the table. If the tone is relaxed and everyone is savoring the food and enjoying the conversation, kids are more apt to follow. If your child is not eating one night, assume they will eat the next.

One way to reduce struggles and also model healthy food habits is to think carefully about what you keep in the home. If there is no junk food around you don’t have to worry about limiting how much they eat and having to say no all of the time. You can give your child almost everything that is in the house, because it is all healthy.

But what can you do if your child is super picky?

Here are some ideas to try:

1. Eat meals together as a family. Modeling a love of good, nutritious food is the most effective way to teach healthy eating habits. Make meals a special time to be together. Enjoy the conversation.

2. Cook together. Involving your child in the preparation and cooking of food helps foster curiosity. Let your child taste, stir, mix and explain what you are doing as you cook your meals. Or set up your child’s play kitchen alongside the real one to cook pretend food.

3. Avoid power struggles. Try to keep the tone at the table positive, light and worry-free. You may want to overlook some of the negative behaviors. Let your child decide if he wants to eat or not eat.

4. Keep an open mind. You will be surprised what your child will eat. Don’t have preconceived ideas of what your child will have. Serve a wide variety of food every day with the expectation that it will be eaten. If it’s not eaten today, perhaps tomorrow. You just never know.

5. Make eating fun, creative, playful and entertaining. Serve foods that have interesting shapes and colors. Put candles at the table. Use interesting paper plates. Tell stories. The possibilities are endless, so do what will intrigue and capture your child’s imagination.

6. Have some food items on the plate that serve as an appetizer that you know your child will eat. But also put the rest of the meal beside it with the expectation that it will be eaten as well.

Remember, stay relaxed, enjoy the process, and have faith that your child will embrace a wider range of healthy food. Good luck.

For more tips on feeding picky eaters, read this article from Dr. Sears.

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